


Birthday Presents & Permanent Promises

by Aria_Lerendeair



Series: Facing the Fear of Forever [4]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: AND CUDDLES WITH HIS HUSBAND ARE VERY NICE THINGS, Angst, Birthday Presents, Birthdays, Communication, Cuddling, Emotionally vulnerable Magnus Bane, Forgiveness, Fussy Baby Max, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Protective Isabelle Lightwood, Unseelie Gifts, hand holding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:34:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24567784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aria_Lerendeair/pseuds/Aria_Lerendeair
Summary: It has been a month since Magnus has come back, and it's Isabelle's birthday, so Alec decides that it's probably time to bring all of his family, all of them, together again.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: Facing the Fear of Forever [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1727038
Comments: 48
Kudos: 333





	Birthday Presents & Permanent Promises

**Author's Note:**

> TWO UPDATES IN ONE NIGHT? 
> 
> MORE LIKELY THAN YOU MIGHT THINK!! 
> 
> GONNA START WORKING ON THE THIRD TOO!! 
> 
> Note that this particular installment takes place 1 month after Magnus' return, so it's 2 weeks after the last installment. They're gonna start getting a BIT more spaced out after this (with the exception of one spot), but the boys are going to make progress!
> 
> ALSO I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THAT LORE CAME FROM ASK MY BRAIN CASUE HELL IF I KNOW.

"Magnus." 

Magnus looked up from where he was chopping the ferrywort carefully into diced pieces. It would be excellent for the kid's next lesson and he could teach them how important measurements were and how they could-

"Magnus, focus," Alec called, amusement in his voice. 

Magnus blinked and shook himself, focusing on Alec before giving him a sheepish smile. "Sorry, Alexander." 

"Planning your next lesson?" Alec asked, coming up beside Magnus. They'd added a room to the house that Magnus could use for his own office, and it was starting to look more and more like his mini apothecary. Alec couldn't help the thrill that ran up his spine when he found Magnus working from his office here and not in the loft. 

"Yes, we're doing some potion making basics. A simple one, not at all dangerous," Magnus said with a smile. "It works as a healing pact for minor skin conditions." 

"Sounds great," Alec said, peeking over Magnus' shoulder. "I'm sure the kids will love that." 

Magnus nodded and put down the knife, turning to face Alec properly. "But I have a feeling the next lesson isn't why you're here and doing your best not to fidget?" 

Alec huffed in annoyance. "It was much easier to fidget when you couldn't see my magic signature that's doing the fidgeting." 

Magnus couldn't help a faint grin, giving Alec a wink. It was something that he'd been teasing Alec about, and was also teaching him to control. He was getting better, but sometimes his nervousness did get the better of his magic, even if his face and body were completely controlled. "Well, why don't you tell me what you're nervous about and we'll go from there?" 

Alec sighed and turned to look out the back window where the kids were playing. "I, uh, just know that you don't have to, and it's okay if you don't, and-" 

"Alec," Magnus interrupted, reaching out to put his hand on Alec's arm, giving a small squeeze. "It's all right, I promise. What is it?" 

"It's Izzy's birthday tomorrow," Alec admitted. "I'm taking her, Jace, and Clary out for uh, drinks." 

Magnus pressed a hand to his cheek where he could still feel the faint hints of Isabelle's hand hitting it. "I'm sure you will have a marvelous time with her, Alexander. Do you need me to watch the kids?" 

"I..." Alec frowned and shook his head. "No, of course not. I, I want you to come with me." 

Magnus blinked and looked up at Alec, his eyes widening. "Do you think that is the best idea?" 

"I think..." Alec said, his voice softening. "Izzy could have another thirty birthdays and live to be well over one hundred, Magnus. She's stubborn enough for it. But I also don't know how many more birthdays she will have, and I know you well enough that you don't want to miss this one." 

"She might not want me there, Alexander," Magnus cautioned. "It's her birthday and I would hardly want to impose a presence on her that she wants nothing to do with." 

Alec reached out and took Magnus' hand in his, running his fingers over the familiar rings. "I suppose that's true," he allowed. "But you're back, Magnus. And you're not going anywhere. You're my family. You're my husband. You should be with us." 

Magnus breathed slowly through the casual statements, even though they still felt world-rocking every time Alexander uttered the simple words. That he was welcome and wanted, even after so long. He inhaled slowly and nodded, opening his eyes to look up at Alec. "I will do my best to make sure there aren't any fights." 

Alec raised his eyebrows and snorted. "This is Isabelle." 

Magnus smiled back at Alec. "It is indeed. And considering she slapped me rather spectacularly the last time I saw her, I would be prepared for a similar reaction." 

"She slapped you?" Alec asked, his eyes widening. "She and Jace didn't-" he cut himself off and sighed, looking at the ceiling. "Of course she did, because angels forbid she listen to me for once." 

Magnus watched Alec deflate a little and waited for the shining blue eyes to meet his again and he smiled. "I deserved it, Alexander." When he could see Alec gearing up to argue, he shook his head and reached out to press his finger to Alec's lips. "This isn't something that you will convince me otherwise, and it isn't about my needing to be punished for what I did." 

Alec tilted his head and watched Magnus drop his finger. "What is it about then?" 

"Your sister loves you, and like any good sibling, she wanted to take revenge on an evil ex," Magnus said with a faint smile. "Just like you did for her as a teenager, I'm sure." 

Alec's smile turned sheepish. "There may be a few scuffles in both my past and Jace's of similar reasoning, yes." 

"Exactly," Magnus said with a smile. "So don't begrudge her that. It was borne out of love for you. But let her know ahead of time, that's all I ask." 

"I can do that," Alec said with a nod. He blinked when he realized that Magnus had agreed to come with him and grinned brightly. "It's going to be good to have you there." 

Magnus grinned, his mind already racing with gift ideas that Isabelle would want, and perhaps enjoy. "Speaking of _'there'_ , what exactly are we going to be doing?" 

Alec raised both his eyebrows. "Once a shadowhunter..." 

"Really?" Magnus said, huffing in irritation. "They're in their sixties, Alexander!" 

"You want to try telling that to Isabelle, Jace, and Clary? Because I am not going to get in their way if you do when they come after you," Alec said, holding up his hands. "It's a simple patrol, and we go out for drinks afterward. It's just time together, like anything else." 

Magnus huffed and shook his head. "Shadowhunters," he muttered, even as he gave Alec a quick wink. "Very well. If you insist, I will be wherever you demand with bells on. But now I have to go track down a present for your sister." 

Alec shook his head. "She doesn't want presents, Magnus." 

Magnus hummed and looked across the apothecary, a plan starting to form in his mind. "She might not want any mundane presents, Alexander. But, I have far more at my disposal. Now, shoo, I have planning to do." He gestured for Alec to head out of his office and smiled when Alec rolled his eyes again. 

Once the door closed behind Alec, Magnus looked at the wall of ingredients and he conjured a portal to his loft, skimming the wall, an irritated noise escaping his throat. Of course he didn't have what he needed, which meant he needed to make another overdue phone call. Magnus pressed his fingers to his temple and sighed. It would be a relief when he didn't have to keep making these. 

~!~ 

Whatever Magnus was planning took the rest of the evening, and most of the morning, and Alec found that he was wildly curious. Magnus had promised to meet him at the Institute, dressed for a patrol (in his own way, according to him), and that he would not be a minute late. 

Alec took a deep breath and summoned a portal for the steps of the Institute, reminding himself that Magnus had promised and that he would be there. Stepping out of the portal and past the mundanes nearby, he didn't catch sight of Magnus, and something in his gut twisted. Magnus would be here. He'd _promised_ that he would. 

"Well, I guess that my outfit works precisely as intended, considering you walked right past me!" Magnus called, stepping up beside Alexander with a grin. "Not even I thought I could hide in plain sight that well." 

Alec blinked in surprise and turned to look at Magnus. His hair was still styled, but without nearly as much height, a mass of slicked-back strands that he wanted to sink his fingers into and mess up. He swallowed and looked down at the black leather pants, black boots, black t-shirt and black flannel overshirt he had on over it all. "I don't think I've ever seen you wear so much black," he blurted. 

"Well," Magnus said with a wiggle of his hips. "Black for hunting through the night, right?" 

Alec started to grin, unable to keep it in and reached out, hugging Magnus tight. "Thank you," he breathed against Magnus' temple. "Thank you for coming, Magnus." 

Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec and squeezed before releasing him slowly, smiling at him. "As I promised, Alexander. Now, do we go retrieve the birthday girl, or are they meeting us out here?" 

"They're meeting us out here," Alec said, leaning against the wall of the Institute as he smiled and took in Magnus' outfit again. There were pieces of Magnus that peeked through. Now that he was looking for it, he could see the golden soles of the boots, the usual assortment of silver rings, a thin golden chain around his chest and-

"Penny for your thoughts?" Magnus asked, tucking his hands into his pockets. Alec's eyes on him were heady and they needed to talk about something else before he got distracted further by Alec. "Maybe tell me exactly what we're going to be getting up to tonight?" 

"We'll patrol towards Brooklyn, pass by home, and then circle back to downtown. Maybe stop at the Hunter's Moon before heading to the bar we use for our birthdays," Alec said, smiling. "We've been doing this for quite a few years now, but Izzy and Jace have gotten steadily angrier about the fact that I've said I'm coming along to make sure neither of them falls and breaks their hip more than anything else." 

Magnus burst out laughing and shook his head. "Oh I am sure that your siblings absolutely loved that." 

"Oh yes, I'm regularly reminded of exactly how old I am, never mind that I barely look thirty," Alec said with a grin. "But that doesn't change the fact that I get to tease them about it. Clary's the only one who isn't-" 

"Who isn't what, Lightwood?" Clary asked, bounding down the steps of the Institute. She crossed her arms over her chest and raised her eyebrows at him. "You sure you want to finish that sentence?" 

Alec gave her a wink and reached out, wrapping his arms around her. "You never know, it could have been a compliment, Fray." 

Clary rolled her eyes and turned to look at Magnus, putting her hands on her hips as she turned to look at Magnus. "Izzy and Jace will be right out. They were bickering over weapons last I checked, so I grabbed mine and got out of the way of that." 

"Sounds good," Alec said, his eyes drifting over to where Magnus was meeting Clary's eyes, even as he kept his hands in his pockets. He could see Magnus' magic curling tighter around him, as though he were bracing or a blow. 

"Hey biscuit," Magnus said, his voice soft. He took in Clary's brilliantly silver hair and how her green eyes were as bright as ever. Laugh lines in the corners of her eyes made him smile, and he could see specks of paint on the pants and shirt that she was wearing, even though she had her leathers and thigh holster on over it. 

Clary gave a firm nod and immediately bounded the last few steps forward, wrapping her arms around Magnus in a tight hug, burying her face against his chest. "I'm so glad that you're home, Magnus." 

Magnus hugged Clary and his breath caught, tears springing to his against his will as he wrapped his arms around her and held her close, squeezing her tight. "I am too, biscuit," he whispered to her. "I'm sorry that I stayed away so long." 

Clary huffed and tossed her hair, pulling back from the hug to stare him down. "You're here to stay now, right?" 

"I am," Magnus said. He gave her a faint smile. "Back at my loft in Brooklyn even. You're welcome to come barging in any time you like. But, fair warning, I'm more likely to be found teaching Alec's brood of warlocks-" 

"They're not a brood," Alec grumbled, even as he turned in the direction of the door. 

Clary nodded and gave him another hug. "Good. I'll come visit you soon. We weren't sure if the two of you were ready for visitors yet." 

Magnus glanced up at Alec and smiled at him, the quick flash of bright blue eyes before they were gone behind a hazel glamour made him relax. "We're building something new," he told her, keeping his voice down. "And we're taking our time doing it. But you are always welcome to visit, biscuit. All three of you." 

Clary gave him a grin and a wink. "As though you could keep me away! Who do you think gives the kids art lessons?" 

Magnus relaxed and grinned back at her. "I would never have suspected anyone else." 

Clary nodded and turned to the door as he heard Isabelle and Jace walk out and glanced back at Magnus, watching him stiffen. She gave him a quick pat on the arm. "It'll be all right," she promised. 

Magnus blew out a hard breath and nodded again. It would. It would take more than just tonight, but it would be all right. He looked at Isabelle and Jace, who had frozen and were staring at him. 

"I didn't think he'd actually show up," Izzy said, tossing her hair over her shoulder. 

"Izzy," Alec warned, reaching out to wrap her in a hug. "Happy Birthday, but don't you dare punch him again." 

Izzy huffed and glared at her brother. "Just because you've forgiven him doesn't mean I have to, Alec." 

Magnus watched her stride past him and take in his outfit before snapping her eyes away, stalking past him. He took a deep breath and nodded. That was more than he had expected, especially since the funeral. He turned his attention to Jace, who was talking quietly with Alec and approached them slowly. 

Jace snorted and raised his eyebrows. "I didn't even realize that you knew how to wear an outfit without glitter and color, Magnus." 

"I was attempting to blend in," Magnus said, looking down at the black. "Attempting, granted." 

"Leave the black to us. Though, I'm sure Alec has no complaints about the pants," Jace said, giving Alec an elbow to the gut. 

"Jace!" Alec growled, giving him a shove. "Shut the hell up." 

Jace laughed, shaking his head. "Nope, I've got a few decades of teasing to keep up with. Try and keep your eyes on the alleys and not on his ass, will you?" 

Magnus fought down a snicker, even when Alec's eyes snapped to him and narrowed. He winked and looked around their group. "Shall we make our way to Brooklyn? Everyone runed up?" 

When four sets of eyes turned to him, ranging from confusion to irritation, Magnus blinked at them. "What?" 

"Runed...up?" Jace asked, trying to contain his laughter. "Did you really call it that?" 

"I'm sorry," Magnus said, assuming his best impression of Alec at the height of his Head of the New York Institute days. "Ahem. Have you gone through all your weapons checks and activated all relevant runes?" 

When everyone except Isabelle burst out laughing, Magnus grinned in pride and he caught her eyes just before she spun away and began walking. He took a deep breath and began to follow the rest of the group, even as Clary hurried up to walk beside Isabelle, talking to him quietly. 

"Don't worry," Alec said, giving Magnus' shoulder a bump. "She'll warm up." 

Magnus hummed, watching Izzy's stiff back, and the way her bracelet was slowly circling her wrist, clearly wanting to form either into the whip to strangle him with or the staff to beat him with. "She has every right to be angry, like I said. I just want her to have a good birthday." 

"She will," Alec promised, reaching out to wrap his arm around Magnus' shoulders, giving him a squeeze. "She will." 

~!~ 

Despite the patrol taking the better part of three to four hours as they meandered their way towards Brooklyn, conversation flowing quick and easy between all of them, Magnus was starting to understand why they did this to celebrate birthdays. The one Shax demon nest they had stumbled across had been destroyed in minutes between the group of shadowhunters (Magnus had stood back and let them have fun, only blasting one off the wall when it tried to flank Alec standing relaxed beside him, which had earned him a wink) had all of them grinning and talking in excitement. 

They'd probably been doing this for all the years that he was gone. He watched Alec rib Jace for the now-torn shirt he was wearing, accusing him of wanting to artfully rip it to show off. Magnus smiled as the entire group, even Isabelle, dissolved into laughter and teasing each other as they cleaned off Ichor as best they could before emerging from the alley. 

After they were finished, they turned towards Alec's home and Magnus followed all of them at a sedate pace, watching them tease and laugh, and be exactly who they had always been, despite all the time that had passed. 

"So how long are you going to stick around this time?" Isabelle asked. 

Magnus blinked in surprise. He hadn't realized she'd moved to stand beside him and he looked at her, tilting his head. "Hm?" 

Isabelle waved towards Alec and then to the city around them. "I imagine that it can't offer the kind of extravagance that you've been enjoying the past few decades, can it?" 

Magnus smiled sadly and looked over at her. "Extravagance isn't everything, as you well know, Isabelle. It's the escape of the desperately lonely." 

"You didn't have to be lonely," Isabelle said, her voice vicious. "You had friends, a family, a husband here. But it wasn't enough for you." 

"That couldn't be further from the truth," Magnus said, his voice soft. "Would you like me to tell you why?" 

Isabelle scoffed, rolling her eyes as she crossed her arms over her chest. When Alec looked back at the two of them worriedly, she pointed at him and ordered him to stay right where he was. "What excuse could you have for breaking my brother's heart for forty-two years, Magnus?" 

"I don't deserve any of you," Magnus said. He felt her jolt in surprise next to him and resisted the urge to smile. "Alec's working with me on making sure I don't actually believe it, but it's the truth." He took a deep breath and let it out. "I'm old, Isabelle. Five hundred years, almost, now. That is a great deal of time. I spent much of it being very, very cruel." 

He looked over at her and saw her stiffen and frown, but there was a hint of curiosity in her eyes. 

"I'm not talking about the cruelty you know well," Magnus continued, taking a deep breath. "Jace and I were both raised by fathers who understood cruelty and fear, and taught us to use and wield it like the weapon it is." His eyes went distant as they walked. "Jace's saving grace was all of you, and biscuit. I had no such savior." 

"So you hurt people," Isabelle said. 

Magnus nodded. "A great many. More than I will ever be able to remember, even. I've spent centuries, now, trying to make up for what I did then, but the stains on my hands, on my soul, remain." He turned his eyes to Alec and offered a small smile when hazel eyes met his worriedly. "So when I say the reason I left was not because you weren't enough for me, but that I left before Alec could find out who I truly was and leave me, it is the truth. A cowardly action, to be sure. But that's why." 

Isabelle sighed, long and low. "Dammit, Magnus. Why did you have to have a _good_ reason?" 

"It's not a good reason," Magnus corrected, meeting her surprised eyes. "There's never a good reason for hurting someone you love like I hurt Alec, and the rest of you. But it is a reason. Even a reason that can be understood." 

"Why are you telling me this?" Isabelle asked, narrowing her eyes. "If you think I'm going to forgive you that easily-" 

Magnus stopped and reached out to take her arm. "I thought long and hard about what to give you for your birthday, Isabelle." 

Isabelle blinked and gestured for the others to keep moving before she turned back to Magnus. She frowned. "What are you talking about?" 

Magnus took a deep breath. "I don't want you to forgive me. I haven't earned the start of that conversation, let alone begun that journey to repair the trust and relationship I had with all of you." 

"So, what do you want?" Isabelle asked, staring at him. "And what does that have to do with my birthday present?" 

"Do you know what happens to Downworlder souls when they die?" Magnus asked instead, not letting go of her hand. 

Isabelle opened her mouth, and then snapped it shut, frowning. "I have a feeling whatever I think I might know is wrong." 

Magnus nodded to her. "It is. Most souls become a part of the Unseelie realm, in some way. There are those that stay at the surface, that interact with this world still, and then there are others that move on to whatever there is next. The Unseelie realm is the in-between." 

"All right," Isabelle said. "What's the point of telling me that?" 

"Seelie are part angel, part demon," Magnus said, looking at her. "It isn't only downworlders that go to that realm, Isabelle." 

Isabelle blinked in surprise and stared at Magnus. "So you're saying that we-" 

"Yes," Magnus said. 

Frowning at Magnus, Isabelle glared at him. "I don't see why you're telling me all of this, or what it has to do with my birthday, Magnus." 

"Right," Magnus said, reaching into his pocket to pull out a long, thin, gold chain with a large ruby at the end of it. "Because I want to give you this." 

Isabelle's eyes widened as she looked at the necklace and the gem. "Is that another demon sensing necklace?" 

"No," Magnus said. "It's far more powerful than that. And it's a choice for you." 

"A...choice?"

Magnus held out the necklace. "In the Unseelie realm, there is a flower. It's called Moonswind. It's beautiful. You've never seen something so beautiful in all of your life." 

Isabelle raised her eyebrows. 

"It's as beautiful as it is lethal," Magnus continued, smiling faintly. "Rather like you. And it is a flower, that when crushed and combined with the blood of an angelic demon, will allow a soul to become Unseelie once it passes to that realm." 

Isabelle's eyes flew back to Magnus' and she froze at the sight of the steady certainty in them. "That'll...what?" 

"It's my fault that we do not have what I would consider enough time for me to make proper reparations for the pain I have done to you and your family, Isabelle," Magnus said, holding out the necklace to her. "So I offer you this gift, without price, and with a warning. If you wear it when you pass, you will become Unseelie. You will not be able to walk among this world, but you will stay in the Unseelie realm as long as you wear it." 

Isabelle's breath caught. "Why are you giving me this?" 

"I am giving you a gift of time," Magnus said simply. "A choice if you wish to make it or not." 

"I don't..." 

Magnus looked back down to the necklace and watched her take it, the ruby dropping into her palm and the golden chain pooling around her fingers as she held it. "You will be able to watch over your brother. You will be able to see that I am serious. And as the blood I mentioned is my own, Isabelle Lightwood, I am also handing you power over me." 

Isabelle's eyes widened and she stared at the ruby, clenching her hands around it. _"Magnus."_

"I swear this to you," Magnus said to her, reaching out to wrap his hands around hers. "Not to force your forgiveness, but for you to understand the truth by which I make this statement." 

Isabelle nodded. 

"I swear on the blood you now hold, that I will spend the remainder of my life, however long it might be, working to earn the forgiveness of your brother, and working to be worthy of him someday. I know I cannot wipe clean the sins of my past, but I can work to ensure the world I leave is a better place than the one I shaped long ago," he met her eyes and took a shuddering breath before continuing, his voice echoing in the private space and air around them.

"The power to use this ruby is yours and yours alone. It belongs to you. If worn by another, it will only be a pretty gem. If you choose to use it, and I break my vow, the flower mixed with my blood will be enough for you to enact your vengeance on me should you so choose." Magnus removed his hands from hers and stepped back from her and gave a faint smile. "I'm also taking you on a shopping spree to the cities of your choice and you can spend as much as you like." 

Isabelle stared down at the ruby in her hands and lifted the gold chain over her head, watching as the long necklace settled into place against her clothes. "I can't forgive you yet, Magnus." 

Magnus grew serious, nodding. "I know." 

"But," she said, blinking hard, as she reached out to wrap her arms around him, pulling him in for a tight hug. "I'm so glad you're back," Izzy whispered. "We all fucking missed you." 

Magnus wrapped his arms around Isabelle and hugged her tight, letting out a small noise as he squeezed her. "I missed you all too. More than you'll ever know." 

Isabelle pulled back and wiped away one of her tears before it could make her eyeliner run. She pressed a hand to the ruby and took another deep breath. "You don't do things by halves, do you?" 

"No," Magnus said with a faint smile. "I do not. But I know how much Alec loves you, Isabelle. And I know that you have kept him safe in my absence. That is a debt I can never begin to repay. This was the only thing that could begin to be a thank you for that." 

"Well," Isabelle said, tossing her shoulder. "I think the next thing you need to do as a thank you is pay for all of our drinks this evening. I am the birthday girl, after all, and I demand it!" 

Magnus grinned faintly at her. "My dear, I would never dream of allowing you to pay for a drink on your birthday. Now, let's catch up with your siblings before Alexander believes that you've murdered me and left me in an alley." 

"Don't tempt me!" Isabelle said, lengthening her strides as she led the way to the others. 

Alec dropped back from the group immediately, moving to stand beside Magnus, looking at him. "Are you all right? I'm sorry, she must have-" 

"Alexander?" Magnus interrupted, looking at him. 

"Yeah?" 

Magnus reached out and wrapped his arms around Alec's waist, hugging him tight and burying his face in Alec's chest, exhaling shakily. "I'm so glad I'm home," he whispered. 

Alec clenched his eyes shut and ignored the knowing looks from his siblings as he wrapped his arms around Magnus and held him tight. "I am too. Now come on. Drinks?" 

"Drinks," Magnus agreed.

~!~ 

The evening was one of the best Magnus could remember. Now that the ice had been broken, Isabelle, Jace, and Clary didn't hesitate to fill him on things that he had missed over the years. Magnus felt the pang of sorrow at the knowledge he hadn't been here, but it was lessened by Alec's hand that was constantly wrapped around his. 

By the time they made their way home, shoulder to shoulder as they walked through the portal, Magnus was tired, but in the best possible way. 

"You know," Magnus admitted as he kicked off his shoes, stretching in Alec's bedroom. "I think the worst thing about you becoming a warlock is that I am not going to see you get as adorably tipsy after one drink like you used to." 

Alec laughed and rolled his eyes. "That is the best thing, what are you talking about." He winked at Magnus. "You're staying, right?" 

Magnus nodded and slipped his jacket off his shoulders, stepping in close to Alec to hug him again. "I promised your sister the shopping spree to end all shopping sprees." 

"She'll have you broke by the end of it," Alec said with a snort. "Don't let her be ridiculous." 

"I'd buy her a castle if she wanted it," Magnus said, grinning up at Alec. 

Alec hummed. "I don't think you need to buy her a castle, Magnus. What was up with the ruby though? I could see a spell on it, but it wasn't like a demon sensing spell. At least not one I recognized." 

Magnus blew out a slow breath. "Ah, yes. Her birthday present." 

Alec paused and pulled back to look at Magnus. "More than just a pretty jewel I take it?" 

"Much more," Magnus said, glancing up at Alec. "It's a choice for her to use, and it's ancient powerful magic. Dangerous, even. Not for her, but should she choose to use it." 

Alec frowned. "Who would she use it against?" 

"Me," Magnus said, smiling at Alec. "If I break the promise I made to her." 

Alec raised both of his eyebrows. "And what promise was that?" 

Magnus paused and looked up at Alec before he draped his belt over a chair. "That I would spend the rest of my life, no matter how long it is, working to earn your forgiveness," he admitted. 

Alec blinked and stared at Magnus. 

Magnus reached up and fidgeted with his earcuff, biting down on his lip. "I, I hope that wasn't too much?" 

"You're never too much," Alec said, stepping close, reaching out to tug Magnus into his arms for a hug, squeezing him tight. "But Magnus you know-" 

"I know," Magnus whispered, pressing a finger to Alec's lips. "But part of earning your forgiveness is also me learning to accept that you have forgiven me and that..." he exhaled hard, looking up at Alec sheepishly. "Is still a work in progress for me, as we both well know." 

Alec nodded and with a quick wave and twist of his hand, they were both wearing their sleep clothes and he was tugging Magnus towards the bed. "I do know. But you don't always have to, to try to punish yourself, Magnus." 

Magnus huffed and reached out to tuck some of Alec's hair behind his ear. "I know that I don't, Alexander. Or, well, I'm trying to know that," he said instead, before focusing on Alec. "I'd like to try what you suggested, though." 

Alec smiled and pulled the blankets back on the bed, watching Magnus crawl into his sheets before he did the same, reaching out to take his hand, giving it a small squeeze. "I'm listening," he said, his voice soft. "And I'm not going anywhere, Magnus." 

"I might need a hug. Or ten, after," Magnus admitted. "Not, not trying to force you, just..." 

"Magnus," Alec said, scooting closer to him, wrapping his arms around Magnus and pulling him in and against his chest. "You don't have to ask." He pressed a kiss to Magnus' temple and held him close. "Now. What do you want to tell me today?" 

Magnus blew out a hard breath, closing his eyes as he leaned against Alec's chest. "I want to tell you about growing up with my father in Edom. What he taught me about power and fear and how to wield it." 

Alec's arms tightened around Magnus and he frowned. "Magnus-" 

"No, no," Magnus said, waving a hand. "It's all right. But I just...it'll make some of the other things, easier." 

"That wasn't what I was going to say," Alec grumbled. "I was going to say that I wish your father wasn't stuck in limbo so I could kill him. He deserves it." 

Magnus laughed in surprise, grinning against Alec's shirt. "I haven't even told you what happened yet." 

"You don't need to," Alec said, huffing. "I know that I'm right." 

"Yes, well," Magnus said with a smile. "I don't think that you are wrong with that impression at all. Now, settle in. Time for me to tell an unpleasant story." 

Magnus focused on Alec's heartbeat and let the familiar beat lull him into a more relaxed state. He didn't keep track of the words tumbling out of his mouth as he remembered starving, wandering a market, his hands wrapped in bandages to keep the fire at bay, his hair long enough to hide his eyes. He had been hungry, so hungry, when a man with eyes like his had found him, offered him food, shelter. 

Alec's arms tightening around him made it easier to admit the tougher things. His father teaching him to embrace his demonic heritage. His power. Teaching him to wield fire and shadow as the ultimate weapons that they were. Getting drunk off the power, the ability to control and influence others. Taking what he wanted, punishing those he hated, whether they deserved his wrath or not. 

Magnus talked until he was hoarse and shaking in Alec's arms, until there were no more words. He tightened his hands in Alec's shirt and tried to breathe through the tears that he was only now becoming aware of, the hot, desperate streaks down his cheeks. "Please don't leave," he rasped, his voice rough and pained. 

"I'm not going anywhere," Alec whispered, summoning a cup to his hand with a small straw, offering it to Magnus, watching him sip at the water, his golden eyes hazy with exhaustion. "I'm not going anywhere, Magnus." 

"I'm sorry," Magnus whispered back, once he'd finished the water and Alec had disappeared the cup and pulled him close again. "I'm sorry for everything I did, and who I hurt, and I hate, I hate myself for what I did-" 

"Shhhh," Alec soothed, rubbing his hand up and down Magnus' back. "It's all right, Magnus. It's all right. I promise it's all right. You can rest now, I'm not going anywhere. I promise I'm not going anywhere." 

Magnus swallowed. His eyes felt heavy, and Alec was so warm and comfortable, he wanted to fall asleep. But if he fell asleep, then Alec would leave and he would be left alone again. He was so tired of being alone. "Can't sleep," he murmured. "You'll be gone..." 

"I'm not leaving," Alec promised. "I'm going to stay right here, Magnus." 

Magnus thought that was the most beautiful lie he had ever heard in his entire life. For right now, maybe it was best to just believe it and get some of the sleep his body was desperately begging for. He could deal with the emptiness tomorrow. 

"Sleep," Alec breathed, pressing a kiss to Magnus' temple. "You are the bravest person I have ever met, Magnus. Thank you for telling me this. I'm not leaving. Rest now, and I'll watch over you." 

Magnus yawned and let his eyes drift shut. _Alexander._ Alexander was always good at watching over. Maybe he would stay. Maybe he wouldn't... 

Magnus was asleep before he could finish the thought.

~!~ 

Magnus woke in a rush, his eyes flying open as he sat up in bed, horror curling dark and tight in his stomach as he realized he was _alone._ He reached out and touched the mussed sheets beside him and fought down a sob. 

Alexander's side of the bed was cold. 

His heart pounded, hard and desperate in his chest, and tears gathered in his eyes. He curled up, wrapping his arms around his knees as he tried to breathe when the sound of crinkling paper made him freeze. 

He forced his eyes open and caught sight of a piece of paper halfway under his thigh. Magnus reached out for it and flipped it open. 

_ Magnus, _

_ I haven't gone anywhere. But Max woke up. His horns are coming through and he won't settle, and I didn't know if you'd be comfortable having a fussy baby in bed with us after everything you told me tonight. I wanted you to rest. I'm in the nursery. I haven't left.  _

_ Come join me when you wake up. _

_ Alexander  _

Magnus let out a harsh breath, wiping frantically at his cheeks and he smiled, reading the letter again. Alec hadn’t left. He was up and out of the bed in seconds, striding toward the nursery, pushing the door open that he could see was ajar. He took in the sight of Alec in the rocking chair, gently rubbing the cream Catarina had provided into where Max's horns were breaking through the skin, humming softly to calm the fussy baby. 

Magnus let the sight soothe him, and he took a slow, deep breath. _Alec hadn't left._ Alec was taking care of the children, of _Max,_ he hadn't **left.**

"Magnus," Alec called out, reaching out for him, looking up at him. He smiled faintly. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for you to wake up alone, but your blueberry had other plans." 

Hearing the nickname he had given Max from Alec's lips was all Magnus needed to be fully pulled back into the here and now. Magnus was moving toward the both of them in a second and he reached out to take Alec's hand, squeezing it tight. "It's all right," he whispered. "How's he doing?" 

“Fussy,” Alec said with a yawn. He gave Magnus’ hand another squeeze before he resumed rubbing the cream where the small horns were breaking through the skin. 

“Come on,” Magnus said, reaching out to take Max from Alec’s arms. He tucked Max into his arm and held out his hand to Alexander. “Bed, for all three of us, I think. I can take a turn with him.” 

Alec rubbed his eyes and stood, taking Magnus’ hand. “You got my note?” 

Magnus lifted Alec’s hand and kissed the back of it. “I did.” He squirmed when Alec’s eyes focused on him and he cursed himself for not cleaning his face up first. “I...not right away?” Magnus offered, his voice small. 

“I’m sorry,” Alec said, pressing in close to Magnus, even as they headed back to his room. “But I haven’t gone anywhere, Magnus. You’re still stuck with me.” 

Magnus turned his face into Alec’s shoulder and let himself breathe, the comforting feel of Alec’s magic reaching for him helping him to relax further. “No one in the world I’d rather be stuck with, Alexander,” he admitted. 

“Come on,” Alec said. “Into bed with you. We’ve both had a long day.” 

Magnus hummed and was glad when Alec climbed into bed next to him and got Max carefully settled, and cast a spell so neither of them accidentally rolled over on him. He also used magic to ease some of the pain so Max could get some sleep. 

“I don’t quite have the knack for healing magic,” Alec said sheepishly. “Catarina’s always despaired over that.” 

“It’s okay,” Magnus said, smiling at Alec. “I don’t mind.” He leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of Max’s head. “Now, let’s get some sleep?” 

Alec reached out and took Magnus’ hand, squeezing it. “Thank you, by the way. For tonight. For Izzy, and coming out with us, and everything you told me and…” he exhaled hard, blinking at Magnus, well-aware his glamour was down. “Just, thank you.” 

Magnus smiled and yawned, cuddling into the pillows that smelled like Alec. “You’re welcome, Alexander. Sleep well.” It wasn’t long before Alec was asleep and snoring quietly in the room. 

Magnus closed his eyes and curled closer to Max. “Do you know, Max?” he whispered, pushing one of his fingers into the baby’s tiny hand so Max could hold onto it. “I think I might have missed that sound more than any other in the world…” 

Max made a quiet noise and yawned before settling in, his mouth open as he breathed, slow and steady. 

Magnus relaxed and let himself drift off. _Maybe…_

Maybe he could earn this, someday. 

**Author's Note:**

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